


scared that i couldn't find all the answers honey

by penrosequartz



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: (is that a tag?), Cheating, F/M, Forced Combat, Ignoring Consequences, Imprisonment, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, SORRY YALL, Sort Of, kiss, some great angst content, this is who i ship tom with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penrosequartz/pseuds/penrosequartz
Summary: In which Tom Keen wants to find a way out of a situation, but he cannot see any other feasible solution.





	scared that i couldn't find all the answers honey

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all  
> there's no content for this ship, i'm sad and i have terrible mental health, it's 11:14 on a wednesday night and i've just gotten back from canberra. so naturally i'm posting a tiny oneshot of angst with a lana del rey title.

_don't make me sad, don't make me cry,_

_sometimes love is not enough, and the road gets tough,_

_i don't know why._

Tom Keen wasn't in love with Asher Sutton - that was a ridiculous notion, because he was in love with Elizabeth Keen. Everything he’d been doing, the reason he was here, _everything_ was riding on him being in love with Elizabeth.  
But suddenly he was chained to a deadweight, a beautiful deadweight, someone who he’d brought into this mess and who wouldn't get out alive. And he regretted it.  
One of them wouldn't be leaving this place breathing, and it was common sense that that person was going to be Asher, not Tom. Tom had matters to resolve, tasks to complete, a job to do. But deep inside, Tom felt that maybe he should let Asher live. Asher had a life, a future, a beautiful face… and a fiancée.  
Tom sighed. The more he thought about it, the more he realised he was going to have to kill Asher - these people might kill Asher if he killed Tom, but if Tom won, he wouldn't let them do the same to him. He would make them take him to Karakurt and he would win this, just like everything else, for Liz. For Liz, that's what he kept telling himself, but fucking hell, he was getting tired of it.  
Tom dragged himself over to Asher, his beautiful deadweight, and just looked at him for a moment. Even bruised, dirty, and bloody, Asher Sutton looked like Heaven had fought a war.  
Tom leaned down, pressing a small kiss to Asher’s forehead, before sitting back. The man stirred.  
_And won_ , Tom thought, _Fought a war and won._  
“What's happening?” Asher’s eyes cracked open, “Matt?”  
Asher sat up, hearing the clanking chain, eyes widening.  
“Matt- I mean. Whatever your name is,” Asher gulped, “Where are we?”  
“Your powerful friends want us to fight each other,” Tom said blankly.  
“They- oh, no, no!” Asher cried, curling up, tucking his knees up to his chest, “You’re going to kill me. Oh god.”  
“You might beat me,” Tom remarked optimistically, “I saw the way you fought those guys. You're alright.”  
“I saw the way _you_ fought those guys,” Asher chuckled weakly, “I don't stand a chance.”  
Something flared in Tom’s chest.  
“Maybe I’ll let you win,” he said arrogantly.  
“What?” Asher replied after a second had passed, “No. If you refuse to fight they'll kill both of us.”  
_Exactly_ , the logical part of Tom’s brain whispered.  
But still, Tom wanted Asher to go back to his perfect life, the life that he'd have to live… forever looking over his shoulder…  
“I’m so sorry,” Tom breathed, looking down at the ground, one hot tear sliding down his face.  
There was another pause, longer this time as Tom shuddered slightly.  
“Why are you crying?” Asher asked suddenly, “You're some kind of agent, you're not- you're not supposed to be scared of things, or care about anything, right? You're not supposed to - _I’m_ not supposed to-”  
“You're not supposed to what?” Tom interrupted.  
“Nothing,” Asher looked away.  
Another pause.  
“I _do_ care about things. I care about the person that I’m doing all this for,” Tom explained, “And I care about… about you.”  
“You care about me,” Asher said slowly.  
“Yes,” Tom nodded, “I'm, I’m so sorry that i dragged you into this. You don't know how sorry I am.”  
“You're going to kill me, I know you are, which means that I’m never going to have to face consequences, right?” Asher said, mostly to himself.  
“What?” Tom frowned, “Consequences of what?”  
“Of this,” Asher replied, pressing his lips against Tom’s. 

* * *

“I’m sorry,” Tom breathed, pressing down. Everything, everything, everything, the life he never could've had, blood on his hands, everything, everything, Asher’s face, the crowd surrounding him. Everything.  
Tom felt the cold, logical part of him let go and forget.  
But the part of him that could love (the part usually preoccupied with Elizabeth Keen) filed Asher Sutton’s eyes away in his subconscious, saving them for long nights when the only friend he’d have would be a bottle of Jack. He was definitely looking forward to the denial, guilt, and drunken tears.  
Maybe he'd visit Asher’s fiancée.

_cause you and i, we were born to die._

**Author's Note:**

> hope that the two people who ever read this like it  
> PRQ out


End file.
